


is this the place we used to love?

by angelica_barnes



Series: You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Character Study, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, implied/referenced eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 00:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15352347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_barnes/pseuds/angelica_barnes
Summary: liam loves zayn.he tries to make zayn love himself.(he can't succeed.)





	is this the place we used to love?

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "Somewhere Only We Know" by Lily Allen

Liam woke up to an empty bed, with no beautiful sleeping face beside him; he found Zayn in the bathroom. The raven-haired man was staring in the mirror, face blank, and Liam wrapped his arms around the man’s torso from behind, whispering in his ear.

“You should eat something before we go.”

 

 

-

 

They eat breakfast in silence, the occansional screech of metal against porcelain the only interruption of the peace, and Zayn picks at the food on his plate, eyeing it conspicuously. Liam notices and stops shoveling food into his mouth; he reaches across the table and places a hand over Zayn’s.

“I didn’t poison them, sweetie.”

 

 

-

 

Zayn slips his hand into Liam’s as they start the walk down the hallway, locked hotel room door behind them, and his fingers clutch at those of the younger man’s almost desperately. Liam tries to console him, pressing a kiss to the boy’s head, and he murmurs something even he himself can almost not hear, and maybe, he reasons, that is why Zayn says nothing in response.

“I love you, darling.”

 

 

-

 

They step out on stage and no life is in their eyes, even Niall’s infamous mischievous glint has gone and hidden itself away. The others whisper casually to each other onstage, save Harry and Louis, who avoid each other like the plague, though reaching out to one another as if in a trance, before waking and pulling back too quickly for coincidence. Liam leans down slightly and mutters into Zayn’s ear, for the fifth time that day; Zayn’s eyes are the deadest of them all.

“Baby, they adore you.”

 

 

-

 

The five of them merely tolerate the fans this time, too tired and run-down to act as if it’s a treat to talk to these expectant girls, until Esme reaches the table, pushing and shoving. They all perk up for a moment; she’s saved them before. She gives them a small smile and gently takes Niall’s hand, asks if she can talk to him for a minute, love. Liam holds Zayn’s hand under the table, and the older man intertwines their fingers when Liam least expects it, causing him to leave a scribble on a poor girl’s book. He turns his head, but Zayn doesn’t meet his eye.

“What is it, Zee?”

 

 

-

 

Harry begs to room with them until Liam quietly explains how strange Zayn’s been acting, and the curly-haired idiot finally shuts up, though he shoots a longing glance at their door one last time before disappearing into the room he shares with Louis; Liam doesn’t sleep and neither does Zayn, kept awake by heart-wrenching sobs and angry screams, and Zayn curls in on himself, deeper and deeper with every insult thrown until Liam pulls him to his chest; he wishes Harry and Louis would kiss and make up.

“It’s okay, you’re fine. You’re fine, love, fine.”

 

 

-

 

In the morning, half past three, Zayn mumbles something nearly inaudible, voice quiet and when the shouts and crying have stopped, Liam runs his fingers through Zayn’s hair, kissing his head, “What was that, baby?”

Zayn doesn’t bother looking up to answer, “I don’t want what happened to Harry and Louis to happen to us.”

Liam sighs, heavy and exhausted, “Me neither. Me neither.”


End file.
